How to overcome shyness

Although I present massive business events as part of my mission helping business owners succeed, a lot of people probably don’t know that I can be painfully shy.

If I’m in an environment where I don’t know anyone, OMG I am Captain Introvert! I literally just want to go and hide behind a pot plant. What a contrast, huh!

Well, first things first.

The way that I deal with my shyness is I recognise my shyness for what it is.

It is a level of introversion, a level of fear of how I’m going to be perceived by others. But on the other side of the equation, it’s also an opportunity for growth.

Whenever I’m feeling shy or the feeling to be introvert, I see that on some levels as a challenge now, depending on my energy. Before when I felt shy, or before when I felt introverted, my first response was to run and hide behind a pot plant and just blend in.

Whereas now I’ve rewired my brain, and all of this comes down to energy. When I’m feeling shy and tired the last thing I’m going to do is push myself out of my boundary.

What I’ve done now with most forms of fear or pain or discomfort, nine out of ten times I’ll program my brain to advance to go into the discomfort, to go into the fear, to go into the pain because I understand that’s where the growth is.

To me, being shy or introverted is social discomfort, social fear, and it’s learning to respond differently when that stimulus presents itself.

There’s two fundamentals.We can move away, or we can move towards.

If we move away, we reinforce those patterns and those habits and we reinforce the relationship between the stimulus and the response.

Or, we move towards discomfort where we can engage with exposure therapy. We expose ourselves to the high levels of shyness or introversion to a level where the pain and the fear starts to diminish.

Then it becomes more of a natural process by which  this social interaction doesn’t have to be a painful one. If you do this, five six seven times a day then there begins to be a level of flow and a level of ease to it.

You can use it as a warning to run away or you can use it as an opportunity to challenge, to step into, and grow.

Kerwin Rae

Kerwin Rae

Kerwin Rae is a businessman, investor, strategic advisor, author and international speaker. He has studied and observed the psychology of influence for well over a decade now and is considered an expert on influencing human behaviour and how it relates to sales, marketing, fast growth business principles, leadership and personal transformation.
Snapchat: @KerwinRae
Kerwin Rae

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